Reflecting

Being out of school for about a couple of months now allowed me to catch up on a lot of things I enjoy doing. I have been reading more, taking more photos, hanging out with friends, and catching up on some movies and games here and there, but I seem to have neglected something I really enjoy doing, writing. Whether that is poetry, creative fiction, analytical writing, or even reflective posts like this one, I haven’t written something I deemed meaningful for a while now and I feel like I should change that.

For quite some time now, Ive had a lot of friends telling me to start a blog or start journaling my thoughts and experiences. I have heard that many use it to put their feelings, thoughts, and ideas into words as a form of mental therapy. Some just do it to enhance their writing skills and practice on their craft. Some even just do it for the hell of it. I would like to think that I am starting blogging/journaling for all these reasons. There are a lot of things on my mind, and sharing it to 0, 1, 10, or even 100 people may be as cathartic as I think it would be (I hope).

There are a lot of changes happening to me in the next couple of months, and I am here to share that with you.

Look, I am not going to beat around the bush here. I am surrounded by conformity. It is currently 8:28 on a Friday night and I am typing this blog post on my living room couch with freshly made coffee by my side. If it is not writing, I am in the same spot either editing photos, browsing twitter and Instagram, or even watching the occasional YouTube video. When I am not busy going out or doing something else, this is what I have been doing for the past month and a half since I finished school. In 8 short days, all of that changes, and it is going to be the scariest, most exciting sequence of events to happen in my life thus far (i’ll get to this in a bit).

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy taking a break here and there. For the past two years I have been spending almost 10 hours a day on campus either studying, going to class, working, or hanging out with friends (mostly the latter, but who’s asking). I needed to take a break. But, after a month and a half of relaxing and going out, I felt like I need to get back on the grind. Working and keeping myself occupied greatly improved my mental health. I never considered myself to be a workaholic or anything of that nature, but I enjoy doing work that is productive and meaningful, and I believe that is what I was doing for the past two years. Now being by myself, I realized how great it was to occupy myself with great people and productivity. After taking it easy in my mini vacation, its time to get back to work.

I don’t want to make this sound cliche or anything, but my life is going to change in the next 8 days. On Saturday, July 14, I head to Miami International Airport and I fly for the very first time on an airplane to Cape Town, South Africa to study abroad for the span of a month. I can tell you I just got shivers down my spine just typing that.

Yeah, that sounds really weird for me. I never would have thought to ever have an opportunity like this and now, in a weeks time, I am going to the airport to essentially start a new chapter in my life. Its exhilarating and scary knowing that I am going to be by myself in a country I (or even anyone close to me) have never been to. What a way to become an independent person huh?

Also, I am in the process of moving out of my parents house to start University when I get back from Cape Town. I am actually heading to Gainesville (a city where the University of Florida is located 5 hours away from Miami) next week to look at apartments to finalize where I will be moving in come late August. Things are moving and life, for a lack of a better way of explaining it, is actually happening.

Writing this all down and putting my thoughts into this blog post had made me realize one thing,

I am not a kid anymore.

Whether I like to admit it or not, I am becoming my own person, which funnily enough, is what I have been wanting for so long, I just never thought it would actually happen.

And honestly, thats why I decided to write this post, to kind of reflect on the things that have been on my mind in that past few months. I felt like I needed to share the little nuances that have been occurring in my head and the greater impacts these thoughts have to me in the next couple of months, if that makes any sense.

I have always fancied the idea of being on my own. I really like to consider myself an independent person. I really like being by myself and doing the things I like doing outside of spending time with my family and friends. I often don’t enjoy being dependent on other people and I would rather do things on my own if I have to. Thats why I felt like it was appropriate to move out and be on my own when I had the opportunity to, I just never thought it would happen so soon, you know?

Cape Town will be the first time I would truly be by myself (for the most part, I still have 9 other cohorts coming with me, and all of them seem really cool from the short bursts of conversations we have had so far), and that is why I say this trip is going to be life changing.

I kind of don’t consider myself as a goal oriented person, but I always had two goals in mind in my late teens early 20’s. Move out as soon as I could, and travel as much as possible. I will be accomplishing those two goals in the span of weeks.

Until then, I will continue to be surrounded by conformity, taking it easy and relaxing before the tidal wave of emotions and work hit me square in the face. I always felt like being too comfortable scares me. I don’t like being in one spot and taking it easy, it ruins productivity and makes me go nowhere. If I didn’t get out of my comfort zone and worked hard, I wouldn’t be in the spot I am in now. That is why I will not stop doing what I am doing, and I am not celebrating my accomplishments now. Things are just starting to happen now and I can’t wait to dive in.

The pedal is on the metal, and I am not even considering stopping now.

Much love

-Andres C.

PS: I am going to try to update this blog weekly for the foreseeable future, especially during my time in Cape Town, so please keep an eye out for any new posts. Thanks for reading.