It’s the Little Things

Before my arrival in France I was well prepared with lessons about cultural differences. I was told that bien sûr differences exist between France and the United States, and it was my responsibility to remember that those differences are not bad, just different, and it’s necessary that I try and see things from a different point of view. It’s very true. There are many things that have caught me off guard. However, it has been interesting and exciting to come to learn why things are the way they are. There are several key differences that I have noticed. The first difference is the meal culture here in France, which has been quite a shift for me. The second is the way the day is divided up. This has caused me to change some of my habits in order to adapt to the style of life of my host family. The third difference I have noticed is the appreciation for time spent together as a family.

The difference that I noticed first was the difference in the culture of meals. Lunch and dinner are very important –  and not just for the food. For the French people, meals are not only a time to get physically refueled, but also a time to rest and give the brain a break before continuing with work for the rest of the day. For me, that was a pleasant and strange shift. Often at school I will eat while doing homework or checking email. I have discovered that while I feel more productive doing this, I am actually more productive when I take a break in the middle of the day and give myself time to breath. I continue working feeling refreshed, recharged, and ready to work. The same goes for dinner. It’s a time to take a pause at the end of the day and reflect a bit. However, breakfast is quite small, normally bread and jam with a mug of coffee. For a girl who loves her eggs, this was a big change – in fact, it’s something I am still not quite used to. However, it has been a good experience, and given me renewed appreciation for the value of a good, hearty lunch.

Another change that has taken some getting used to is the way schedules function. Often, the day runs much later than I am used to. In fact, it seems that the French schedule in general functions a few hours later than my schedule back home. At my college, the latest class offered begins around 2:00 pm and finishes around 3:30, and it’s common for me to be finished with classes by 1:30 or 2:00. Here, it is common for classes to begin at 4:00, 5:00, even 6:00 pm, and run as late as 8:00 pm. I notice that my host mom and dad often leave the house around 9 or 9:30, and arrive home around 8:00. At my home in Nebraska, 8:00 is when my parents start winding down for the night! This was a surprising change, and I have had fun learning the benefits of a later schedule. I have learned how to appreciate multiple hours spent lingering in the evening over a ‘tisan’ (a non-caffeinated tea taken after dinner). I have learned that it can be a lot of fun to stay up late and sleep in a bit the next morning. I have learned that sometimes the best and richest conversation happens in the late hours of the night after the work is finished for the day. A schedule pushed back carries with it unmistakable benefits. 

The last difference that I will write about is the importance of family togetherness here in France. Every night, without fail, the family eats together. In my host family the number sometimes varies – sometimes every person of the family is there, sometimes it is just my host mother and I. However, I have noticed that no matter the number, it is important that the meal is taken together. I remember one night when I returned from a Bible study late, around 10:00 pm. I had asked my host mom to save a plate for me from dinner, as I didn’t have a chance to eat before the study started. When I arrived home, she stopped what she was doing and came and joined me at the table while I ate. She had already eaten and she had plenty of work to do, but she made the effort to come and sit with me for forty-five minutes. She may not have realized it, but to me that was a sweet and thoughtful gesture that helped me feel very welcome in the family.  Additionally, Sundays are often spent doing something together. My host family and I have visited St. Malo, we have taken a walk on the beach, we have watched movies…the list goes on and on. Now, there are plenty of Sundays where we haven’t done anything special. Sometimes we rest at the house, finishing up odds and ends for the week or (in my case) reading La couleur des sentiments (The Help translated into French). However, we are together. Each person knows that the rest of the family is around, and that’s what’s important.

Overall, these differences have certainly taken some getting used to. It’s not normal for me to eat dinner at 8:30 or 9. It’s different for me to arrive at the apartment and be the first person by about two hours. It’s a change to take a pause and linger over a cup of tea, conversing over the history of Nicolas Sarkozy. I think that the French value the moment more than Americans do. Instead of constantly thinking about the next thing, about what has to come next, there is a sense that ‘here I am, in this moment.’ It’s a characteristic I hope I can bring back with me to my vie quotidienne in the United States.

WOLCOTT Lena, St. Olaf College