Focus On…KakaoTalk

“That’s what friends are for”. I often find myself saying that phrase when I think I’ve done an action a friend would do. Having been here for officially a month now, I have friends. At least, I think I do. There are a few moments in my life that I accurately remember trying to make friends. Whether that was leaving the middle school I’d attended since I was three, moving away to attend university or lastly my current circumstance-study abroad.These were all major changes, I was moving away from an environment familiar to myself and headed into some brave new frontier. Most recently, moving to Syracuse was the first time in awhile where I actively had to try to make friends. 

Freshman year of college, the first couple of months everyone is super friendly and open. That’s because people want to make friends. I got into the groove of my “rehearsed” introduction. Name.Year. Major.Don’t forget pronouns and my hometown. Somehow saying I’m from Miami was a flex so I’d save it for last. Before I knew it, I had friends. I think I'm one of those individuals who knows of people but a few actually know the depth of my persona. This isn’t to say that the version of David writing this is any less authentic but I’d imagine you don’t tell everyone your deepest darkest fears. One of mine is failure. Anyway, back to the topic at hand.

I’m three years into this experience called “college” and now I start all over again. However, instead of moving to a new state. I’m in an entirely different country. I did my best talking to people on the plane, but between the roaring sound of the engine, turbulence and the endless rounds of airplane food there wasn’t much room for talking. When we land and walk through immigration and customs, I make small talk with some people that I still chat with occasionally. Then quarantine begins and social interactions fall to damn near 0. I meet a group of dudes and we start texting on Kakaotalk. It’s snapchat meets whatsapp in Korea with adorable little creatures in the emoji section. Overtime, I’ve found myself constantly hanging out with a core group of people but a question would creep into the innermost depths of my psyche.

Are we really friends? Perhaps, it might be something I’m overthinking but for me the actions of someone speaks volumes over their spoken word.Like one of the first instances I felt hurt was when there was a plan to go to a museum or something. I’d wanted to go but the group had already started walking to the bus stop. By the time I’d gotten to the bus stop, they’d already boarded and were on their way. I did my best to fight the tears, and won. Okay, maybe I did shed a tear. I don’t think anyone thoroughly enjoys being left behind. From that moment on, I tried to be on time for all our outings. Now, I find myself examining the closeness to which I thought some relationships had progressed. Whether intentional or unintentional, I’ve tried to reach out and show interest in maintaining certain relationships but you shouldn’t overextend yourself in the attempt of maintaining relationships. Reach out and check in but if the energy doesn’t feel mutual don’t take it personally. One of the things about studying abroad or the introduction of new people into your life is that as you learn about them, they are simultaneously learning about you.

Although making and having friends can have rough patches, the pros definitely outway the cons. You guys can go party in the underground clubs of Hongdae, explore the concrete jungle of Gangnam and Starfield Mall or perhaps catch the bloom of cherry blossoms in some remote locale. I think having friends along your adventures make them all the more worthwhile. I’m fortunate enough to have met people that have played a crucial role in my study abroad experience. Never deny yourself an experience because friends aren’t interested or available. All in all, I’m proud of myself for taking a chance on coming here and even prouder for the things I’ve done thus far. I guess since you’ve made it this far, reach out to someone you care about and tell them how much you care. Actions can speak louder than words but the power of spoken words has the power to change hearts.