Fleeting Friendships

By: Isabella Jones

Some say that studying abroad is lonely. But what tends to happen is that you find a group of friends in the first week. This is maybe your roommate or some people you met during orientation or even people from class and then you spend the next five months with them. So how could you possibly be lonely?

It is amazing what things you can learn about people when you are with them almost every day for this duration. I found out what foods they liked, what things they did in college and high school, and why they decided to come here in the first place. We were like some clique at some points how well we got to know each other. As I was learning all these stories about them, they were also getting the same from me. Then some bubble is created around this program and the parts of your life before you came here, the small details you forget exist, keep moving forward also. 

My family dog died while I was away. And this was one of the times I understood feeling alone here. While studying abroad, I was with people who didn’t know me. I could be the best version of myself without anyone knowing all my history and I loved it. When meeting all these new people the best stories and most interesting experiences are what you share and what starts to define you. So, when I got the news of my dog, it felt weird to tell people that didn’t know her. That didn’t know the boring stories about her and know how she moved. Yes, it would be easy to tell them but when you experience something like that, you sometimes want someone that just knows. I was feeling weird and never said a thing until a week later. 

It kind of opened a door of thoughts we were all having about this and I learned I wasn’t the only one who lost their dog recently. But it was eye opening that after these first couple months of getting dinner together almost every night, these small details of our lives never come up. All this history of little stories and unprioritized information about you that people learn about you over years is never brought up in just a few months. So, at times, it feels lonely. 

But when you know it happens, it makes it much easier to prevent that feeling. It was best to always keep in mind that these people for some reason chose to go on this program at this point in their life and in choosing that, you all met. And in this fleeting time of close connections, find the right people for you and let the friendships really sail because once you find that comfortability to communicate as natural as you would with older friends, there won’t be moments when you feel the need to hold back. It’s risky but it’s worth it. Send the awkward text asking someone to eat dinner with you at the start, so then when the last month hits and you realize you’re about to leave, there won’t be doubts and regrets. It is energizing knowing that these are people you could talk to about some old hobby you randomly picked up, your rare food allergy, your dog you never thought you wouldn’t come home to, and all the things you even forget about yourself. Then that energy transcends and you’re making sure that you stay in contact with these people even after you get on that airplane. Then these friendships you made are suddenly not so fleeting.