Navigating Newness During My First Week as an Auxiliar

There is always an element of nervousness that goes along with starting a new job. During the first week of work, there are new routines, commutes, names, and logistics to figure out, which can feel very overwhelming. 

When I started work as an Auxiliar de Conversacion this week, there were many new things to adjust to. Not only is my job in an unfamiliar country with an unfamiliar language, I found myself at the front of a classroom with dozens of unfamiliar little faces looking to me to teach them English. 

My first class on my first day of work was with a class of 6th graders. ‘Hello!’ called a chorus of new voices, eager to learn my name and where I had come from. Looking out at the class, I thought to myself: how did I get here, and how am I going to remember this many names?

Since moving to Madrid, I have had many moments where I have felt almost like an imposter in my life - many times I’ve found myself asking: is this really my new home and are these really my experiences? The newness of everything has felt invigorating, disorienting, and stressful in equal parts. 

When I walked into the school I will be teaching at for the next year, I again found myself questioning my place there. 

My school is around a 45 minute commute from the center of Madrid, where I live. It is a large school with several hundred students, ranging in age from Infantil (ages 0-6) to Primary (ages 6-11). 

On the first day I received my schedule and learned that I will be working with a variety of grades, but mostly with 5th and 6th graders. Additionally I learned that my main job working with this age group would be helping them to prepare for their Cambridge Exams, tests required for 6th graders to take during their final year of primary school to test their progress as English learners. 

On my first day, I was tasked with taking small groups of 6th graders to practice speaking. While some were confident and excited to speak English with me, I quickly realized that some were less confident speaking English, and just as shy meeting me as I felt meeting them.

The second day of work, I walked into school and was struck by how welcoming my fellow teachers and the students in my classes were. Even though I was still feeling like an imposter at times, the effort they made to make me feel welcome was amazing. Between classes, a little girl from one of the younger grades ran to me and gave me a hug. The 6th graders from my classes the day before gave me waves and smiles as they passed. 

As the end of my first work week drew to a close, I started to get to know the 5th and 6th graders in my classes better as I had more opportunities to talk with them individually, practicing English and in turn learning more about their lives and families. The more we talked, the more the feeling of being out of place started to fade. 

At the end of one of my last classes of the week, a 5th grader stopped me in the hall as I walked out of the classroom. 

“I have something for you!” She said, giving me a shy, sweet smile. Opening her small hands, she revealed a drawing of a curly haired girl with a polka dot dress with buttons in the front - it was me! On the drawing, she had written ‘welcome’. 

As I thanked her for the gift, I began to smile, and found that I felt light and happy for the rest of the afternoon. Leaving school that day, I no longer felt like an imposter - I felt ready and excited to take on this job and my new life here.