So You Wanna Study Abroad?

Honesty time: when I boarded my plane to Charles de Gaulle the day after New Year’s, I cried. I had just finished a wonderful semester at my college in the US, and nothing could have prepared me emotionally to leave mid-year for five months.

Flashback six months earlier to the day after the 4^th of July. I was again boarding a plane, this time destined for Vienna. I was thrilled to be on my way to Austria, where I would spend five weeks of my summer studying (quote unquote) in Salzburg. It was my first time traveling alone internationally, but I was much too excited at the prospect ahead of me to be anything but eager.

I couldn’t help making a mental comparison between these two plane rides, between the excitement practically bubbling out of me the whole seven hours to Vienna (and for several weeks beforehand), and the nagging dread that accompanied leaving the states for France. “France is cool. France is good. France is the land of Marion Cotillard and really good cheese. What could be better??” These are things I told myself as my fall semester at college came to a close and my impending departure approached. It wasn’t because I was scared of being in a foreign country that I needed to give myself a pep talk. In actuality, it was because a little part of me was resentful. I resented being taken away from the cozy little community I had made for myself at college and from all the things I took part in there that defined me and gave me a sense of purpose. That’s one of the things no one warns you about when you go abroad: all those things you’re a part of on your campus that give you a sense of importance will be stripped away. You’ll spend a lot of time trying to explain yourself with anecdotes that begin with “À mon université…”

This was a chief factor that made adjustment difficult for me. I spent a lot of mental and emotional energy missing home and college and thinking about what I would be doing if I were there, and that simply didn’t leave much of a reserve for taking in everything once I arrived. The FOMO was real, and it kept me at times from being fully present here in France. An additional issue was that I assumed I wouldn’t have any trouble getting used to the cultural differences because of my prior travel experiences. With a few weeks in a handful of different European countries under my belt, I figured I’d have no problem. Heck, I was International Traveler™. Turns out I underestimated the adjustment I’d have to make; the learning curve was steeper than anticipated. Some self-confidence is helpful when going to a foreign place, but so is a healthy dose of humility. It ended up being a bunch of little things that conglomerated to make me realize that living in a foreign country, though great fun, inevitably wears on you after a while. I thought the cultural differences part would be a breeze for me, but instead, I found myself sitting in our Resident Director’s office a few weeks into the program, a bit exasperated and trying to make sense of it. I discovered something important through that conversation: you have to go deeper than your perceptions and individual encounters with a foreign culture to understand your experiences. The CIEE staff helped me gain a broader picture of French culture at large, which I could then apply to the situations where I was experiencing some friction. Afterwards, not only did I find that everything made more sense, but I was also able to find a host of aspects to appreciate in what had previously created difficulties for me.

So here’s what I’ve decided. I’ve decided that it’s ok to miss home. I’ve also decided that I won’t let this cause me to miss out on all there is to experience in Rennes. To any fellow students planning on studying abroad, realize that though you may have a blast, you’ll probably miss home too. But also know that that’s ok. Everyone else probably does too and just isn’t saying it. And realize too that the culture shock’ll hit eventually, no matter how much you’ve travelled around before. But know as well that though this process of being stretched and challenged might be tough, you’ll be glad for it. I sure am. And my final nugget of sage advice is this: profitez bien. Travel, learn, open your mind to new things. Live in a foreign culture, grapple with and appreciate the tension. Let yourself miss home now and then, but don’t let that cause you to miss out.

Gordon College, MA