Navigating a Long-Distance Relationship While Abroad

By: Meah Matherne

A huge aspect of studying abroad I kept encountering again and again while studying abroad was relationships, particularly romantic ones. I myself was long distance with my boyfriend and we encountered our own difficulties during the four months of over the phone conversation. I’m here to tell you that it is possible to maintain those long distance relationships while separated by the Atlantic Ocean and several hours of time difference.

One of the best things I recommend doing before even stepping foot abroad is discussing with your partner what expectations of your relationship will look like while apart. For some relationships, this means discussing the topic of exclusivity: is our relationship open or exclusive? Are we allowed to date other people? For others it will be less about exclusivity and more about schedules: how often will we call? Will we text each other throughout the day? Will our calls be scheduled or will we call when we have time? I know that what my boyfriend and I struggled the most with is that we had different expectations of what our relationship would look like during long distance and we unfortunately did not figure this out until the end of my time abroad. The best thing for any relationship, long distance or not, is to have similar expectations about the relationship and what it will look like, so make sure to define your romantic relationships and their expectations before your time abroad begins.

That being said, I also really recommend having a consistent time or day of the week when you know you are going to talk to your partner. Setting Tuesdays at 5pm or Sundays at 10pm your time as your designated call or FaceTime session allows you both to not only be able to make the space in their schedule to chat with you, but it also gives you something to look forward to every week. A set time or schedule for connecting ensures that connection does occur and having that already built in means that you don’t have to worry in between calls when you are going to get to talk to them again. The frequency of how often you call with your partner is up to you, but I can recommend not talking everyday to keep things exciting and to make sure you have new stuff to discuss whenever you do get on the phone!

Finally, long distance is not at all easy and its important to remember this while going through it. Your relationship through your semester or even year abroad will be lacking the whole physical element to it. We often connect and reconnect through physical touch and it can be hard to feel that connection or calm down after a disagreement when all you’re seeing of your partner is their face on your smartphone screen. When you’re so physically far from someone, it can be hard to feel emotionally close to one another so it's important to remember this distance, both in miles and connection, is only temporary and not the new normal of your relationship.