How Can Gap Year Abroad Parents Best Communicate With Their Teen While Abroad?

Your teen is completing high school and leaving home for the first time on a gap year abroad—obviously, you want to stay in touch, especially as they aren't simply going to college down the road but rather living for three months or an academic year in another country! 

A gap year isn't just another trip for your teen—it's their first step into adulthood. And it isn't just another routine transition for you, either. It is a time for new independence and growth for both teen and parent, a journey that will strengthen your bond and bring new perspectives. 

As you gear up for the gap year, here are some long-distance tips to stay in communication while your teen is away and some advice for the soul on coping with significant change. This gap year is a time to stand back, trust in the foundation you've laid as a parent, and be amazed by your teen's transformation. 

Creating Space and Staying in Touch Without Overwhelming Your Teen 

While on their gap year, your teen won't live under your roof for the first time. You won't know their whereabouts from moment to moment or day to day. This can be challenging to adjust to!  

The key is balance. 

While you may be aware that your communication will lessen, there are strategies for communication to ensure you can stay in touch without any technical obstacles. 

• Download Communication Apps: Make sure you and your teen have downloaded long distance communication apps like WhatsApp or Skype. Both allow for text messaging and voice or video calls. If you have iPhones, you can also communicate using iMessage, so long as both parties have a reliable internet connection. 
• Agree on Call Times: Due to time differences, it's helpful to have scheduled moments to catch up. This way, you both know when you can connect without disrupting their experience or your routine. 
• Check-In with a Purpose: Whether it's sending photos or having regular video chats, find a rhythm that lets your teen know you're there without you being overbearing or your teen being too clingy. 

Letting Them Solve Problems 

One of the hardest parts of this gap year journey is letting your teen navigate challenges without immediately stepping in. 

They will face homesickness, language barriers, and cultural differences. They will face regular new-to-adulthood challenges, too, like how to get a stain out of laundry, managing their monthly budget, or figuring out public transportation in a foreign city. But this is where they learn. Typically, we don't grow without a little (and sometimes a lot) of struggle. 

First, trust yourself! This whole parenting thing has been a lot about preparing them to be competent adults. You taught them what they need to know. Now, trust them. 

Trust them to handle these bumps in the road—sometimes with your advice, but often without it. (It's okay to stay quiet sometimes, even if you have an easy answer.) They'll surprise you with their ability to adapt and grow, and this trust will strengthen their self-confidence and your relationship. 

Adjusting to the In-Between 

Suddenly, being a parent looks a lot different, with far fewer day-to-day responsibilities. You may feel unmoored, experiencing emotions like loss, confusion, and even freedom. 

You miss your close connection—daily parent-child communication, shared meals, or simply knowing where they are at all times. You might also feel confusion about what your role looks like now; what does it mean to be a parent if you're not responsible for feeding them, helping with homework, driving them to activities, or reminding them of daily tasks? You may also experience a sense of freedom, far fewer meals to cook and perhaps a quieter and more peaceful house. 

No matter what you feel, it's okay and normal! Ride the waves for a while, knowing that the initial big emotions will stabilize in time. This in-between phase, where your teen is stepping into adulthood but still needs you in many ways, is also a moment for you to reflect and embrace your own transition. It’s natural to feel unsettled as you adjust to this new dynamic. 

Rediscovering Your Own Passions 

With your teen off on their adventure, now's the time for you to focus on yourself. This could mean exploring new or paused passions or even planning your own trip abroad. Celebrate the freedom this empty nest brings and the fulfillment of raising a teen who is ready to take on the world. 

Celebrating the Successes (Theirs and Yours) 

Remember, this gap year is a huge accomplishment—not just for your teen but also for you. You’ve raised an independent young adult who is doing something unique and fascinating: making the world their classroom! Their fearlessness and rich curiosity are a reflection of your parenting.  

They’ll learn so much—a new language, a new culture—and they’ll make incredible friendships and have unforgettable experiences. You’ve raised an adventurer. That’s certainly something to celebrate. Take pride in your role in helping them become the bold, curious person they are today. 

Is your teen still deciding where to take their gap year? Check out CIEE’s Gap Year Abroad Programs centered around language immersion and host family living.