After living in Seville, Spain for the past five months, I never expected the day to come so soon that I would be saying to myself, “Only one more month, then back to life as I formerly knew it.” I feel like so much has changed in me and in the world around me. I have seen and experienced many things and I do not think anyone in their right mind would sit down and listen to it all. They probably just wouldn’t understand. Exactly like Vernon Law, an ex-pitcher for the Pittsburgh Pirates said, “Experience is a hard teacher, because she gives the test first and the lesson later.” That is what makes us different form each other, we all have different teachers, and whether we are aware of it or not they become a part of us.
Two years ago, I found myself wanting to escape from the formality of everyday life, and find out what it looks like when the glass is half empty a third of the way around the world. But there were two things holding me back. Number one was of course money, but that was easily solved through saving, scholarships and loans. Number two was the fact that I have a mild form of muscular dystrophy, called CMT (Charcot Marie Tooth disease) which in general inhibits my abilities of balance and walking. Many questions ran through my head like, Will I be able to walk to school everyday? Will I be able to keep up with everybody? What if they don’t have elevators? etc… In reality the housing coordinator was able to find me accommodations seven minutes away from the University.
When I first arrived everything was new and exciting, but demanding at the same time. I began to notice similarities and differences both good and bad. At the beginning I was elated with the whole newness of life here. One time I caught myself complaining about the things I didn’t have, like a car or familiar surroundings, that, I almost forgot about the things I do have. So I put that thing we call a brain to use and figured out that you do not need a car when you take the bus or walk, and for the most part you know where you are if you have a map. Genius, I know. Distances that I would not have walked at home turned out to be half as long as what I am actually prepared to walk here. Asking people for help or directions turned out to be a daily routine for a little while. But generally you can never foresee the obstacles you have to overcome unless they are staring you right in the face. Which is they way I prefer it now.
This is where the test part first comes in, I was not sure, I did not know exactly what to expect, you never do. Its like going into cold water, best to just do it all at once to get it over with. You figure everything out as the time comes. I would be lying if I did not admit that I have had some of the most difficult times of my life during this study abroad experience. Now that I look back on it, it was those times that have helped me mature as a person the most. I am now basically more confident in any situation I find myself in. First off, is acceptance, then deal with it. Simple, but at times not easy to do. Personally I love being independent, but everyone needs a hand once in a while. This experience has inspired me to seek out new challenges instead of ignoring and pretending that they do not exist.
Despite the fact that most of the world’s accommodations for disabled people are quite inadequate, there are good times to be had, things to see, people to befriend and experiences to live. These types of memories stay with you for life. When I told myself I wanted to study abroad, I never thought that I would be standing atop of the third largest cathedral in the world, in Seville’s largest, oldest park, which was actually given to a former Spanish princess, Maria Luisa, for her birthday, or discussing the war in Iraq with my new friend Higinio over a cup of coffee. One thing is to read about the greatness of the Alhambra in Granada, another is to stand before it, and be captivated by the history that emanates from its ancient stone walls, turning around in disarray as you try to take in the passionate combination of water, gardens, light, wood and stucco, which make up this unforgettable palace, a symbol of ancient Moorish rule. There is a Spanish saying that goes, “Si has muerto sin ver la Alhambra no has vivido” (If you have died without seeing the Alhambra, you have not lived).
There are many things in the world that you could compare to this saying, it just depends on who you are and if you remember that what you see depends mainly on what you look for. I now have friends that would welcome me in there home if or when I return, and one that would surely make me dance flamenco with her. Every day you have choices to make, one of those should be “Carpe Diem” because you only get so many. To me culture is intoxicating, and even though I miss family, friends and what I have grown to be accustomed to in the U.S., I find myself glad that I have one more month to explore and learn, about myself and about the culture I am living in. Everyone gets dealt a different hand, you cannot change that, but you do have a choice as to how you play it. Just remember, if you must, you can. Stevie Wonder believed, “We all have ability, the difference is how we use it.” I believe he is right.
Eric Kowalchyk